Wednesday, 2 April 2008

Smart(ie) Arse

God, I'm knackered.

Haven't caught up with the clocks changing yet. Events on at work so I have to drag my arse out of bed earlier. And The Boss yacks on and on and on and on until the wee hours of the morn.


Hehehehe..."yacks on" - that'll make a few start flicking through their online dictionaries! And no, he doesn't really. Well he does, but its always yummy stuff being whispered in my ear.

So yes.

My flash of inner reflection sparked and died. And it seems that that was that really.

By the way...I did write "ass" as my title and then was horrified to realise that thanks to SL (have you read the furor over the trademark thingie with LL?? Fekking idiots they are at times, but anyways...I don't think that they'll be coming after me just yet), I have almost forgotten that "ass" is actually an animal. Another word for donkey. What The Boss likes to get his hands on is actually an "arse".

Anyways, yes...sorry...this is Poppy rambling at her best - a totally nonsensical, random load of shite. As promised.

So...what I wanted to actually ask you all - smarties. Why is it, that all smarties taste the same? Other than the orange ones?

*flicks to Wikipedia as she's wittering on...

I don't know how many different colours of smarties there are (scoffed them too quickly, sorry. This isn't a scientific blog you know!), but...well - red, brown, orange, ummm...there used to be blue, but they got banned I think didn't they? Pink is there maybe as is a dull green too. And they all taste the bloody same! Except for the orange. least the orange USED to taste differently!

(Yup...put "ass" into Wiki and....ha! D.O.N.K.E.Y! The part of your body, also known as "buttocks"...A.R.S.E. In fact...ass doesn't even get a page. And did you know that "arse" was first recorded as being used in the 1400s? And "ass" started to get used at around the 1800s? Typical Americans! You have no history and so have to dumb ours down!)

No, really, sorry...the arse thing keeps interrupting. So, the orange smarty (one smarty, many smarties?) was the only one that actually tasted of anything and now that's stopped. Huh. Why do I still buy the things then?

Other than nostalgic memories for the UK, I guess that I hope that I'll be lucky and find that one packet where the orange ones still taste like they used to. Or maybe they never really tasted any differently and I'm just looking back with rose tinted spectacles.

And this is a GREAT question for you! Smarties - do you open the tube and tip them down in one go? Or do you pour them out onto the table and pick out your favourite colours and eat them? And you eat all of one colour and work your way through each group (and save the orange-which-don't-actually-taste-orange-anymore until last!)? Or do you take one colour and then next and then the next?

Answers to all the above on a postcard please.

Oooh...and don't forget to also add - when you have a smarty; do you munch and crunch your way though? Crack the shell and then let the chocolate melt slowly?

*wonders if she'll dare post this...everyone's gonna think that its total and utter drivel!

**to any Americans reading this (and my Google Analytics tells me that there are a few who are so bored that they have nothing better to do ;P)...pinch of salt, sense of humour and all that eh buddy? *gives you a friendly slap on the back

***It IS very possible that you don't know what smarties are. I'm not quite sure that they're terribly international. In which case, sorry. But...good ol Wiki again (and see, ! have been away from the homeland for too long - the blue ones have been re-introduced apparently). Substitute...ummm...M & Ms.

****I don't want to go too overboard now coz it might be different later, but The Boss...he's my orange smarty, an oh-wow-it-tastes-like-it-looks orange smarty.

Get it now?

*smiles sweetly and looks around with wide innocent eyes - who's mad? Me??

Quite possibly, yes.

(photo courtesy of, coz let's be honest, I would have scoffed them all quicker than I could get my digi cam out!)


Alejandro Ferraris said...

I was chuckling as I reached the half of the post. Chuckling as my girl knows I do.
And I wasn't at the end of the post yet.
I was thinking that she is smart and fun and such a nice writer - even if I can't fully understand the subtlties of english language.
Should I smack her butt for comparing me to a smarty???

Poppy said...

*whines...But I compare you to the BEST smarty!

The ever elusive smarty!

The smarty that we all search for through hundreds of packets!

You are the orange smarty!

Ungrateful thing, you!

Banjac Serevi said...

God, I dream of being compared to any Smartie, let alone the majestic orange one......

To be licked by a lady who is smiling while she pictures the crunchy outer layer and the soft bit within.



Poppy said...

Mr Serevi..I'm a tad tipsy, so nothing other than "LOL!" is gonna pass my lips tonight.

Not as stoopid as you make out, are ya babes?