Wednesday, 2 July 2008

I was going to write something intelligent...

...and possibly self-deprecatingly witty on the topic of vulnerability; specifically on my on-going battle with allowing myself to be and feel vulnerable.

And then I looked up the definition (as the "official" meaning of a word vs my emotional response always fascinates me) and I got to the thesaurus part...

...and got depressed.

Exposure, danger, weakness, assailability, destructibility and breakability.

I've just regressed 10 years again in regards coming to terms with thinking that vulnerability can be a positive and worthwhile exercise.

Hardly much positive attached to the word, is there?

There is one person who keeps showing me again and again that I'm safe to be vulnerable with them as none of the above applies, but its a hard lesson to learn and I still don't always really truly believe it.

I hope that they carry on, because after reading what I just did I'm less convinced than normal.


Anonymous said...

Being vulnerable means...
being able to be yourself knowing you are safe and that someone will catch you if you might fall.

And i am glad you are yourself.


Banjac Serevi said...

Hey Pops.....
You were too selective with your synonyms. How about "accessible" - your writing is fabulously accessible. Or "open" - all the things you talk about - few people I know are anything like as open. Or "unguarded" - how nice to feel that you do not need to be guarded? What a sign of inner confidence?
However there is a twist. "Pregnable". Does that fit you? Are you pregnable...? Does anyone use that as a word..... Phrases you do not often hear...."Ooohhhhh, feeling a touch pregnable this afternoon".
If I was in Berlin I would call round and then, depending on the look on your face, have to decide whether you needed a cuddle or a quick slap to bring you back to reality and an appreciation of YOU!!! (Depends on where you looked on your passive/aggressive spectrum....i.e. would you hit me first....).

Anonymous said...

See... this is why i love Banj. And many more reasons.