Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Boys...when you leave your women alone, this is the result...


Poppy Weston: blame it on the gender
Half Short: so actually ... its your fault too
Poppy Weston: always my fault, course
Half Short: so.... how will you make this wrong right again
Poppy Weston: blame me...I have broad shoulders...ummm....dunno...can't make up my mind...I'm a woman
Half Short: cant come over either cos you prolly lost your keys too
Poppy Weston: lol....can't drive even if I had my keys
Half Short: cant find directions
Poppy Weston: lord no...and then doing my lipstick in the rear view mirror
Poppy Weston: always causes problems
Half Short: dont forget your mascara...even worse to do in the rearview mirror
Poppy Weston: tut....silly! I did that whilst I was in the bathroom for 4 hrs
Half Short: ooh really... normally women redo it in the car... even after 4 hours
Half Short: just to touch it up again... just that lil bit
Poppy Weston: yes, but I would do that when I arrived to be honest
Half Short: poke an eye out whilst doing it
Poppy Weston: I prefer to file and paint my nails whilst actually driving
Half Short: only my toe nails
Half Short: whilst driving that is
Poppy Weston: and only after you've done waxing your bikini line
Poppy Weston: of course whilst driving
Poppy Weston: when else?
Half Short: yes...sure
Half Short: and the armpits and legs i do when i park the car
Poppy Weston: though not reverse parking
Half Short: no we cant we are female
Poppy Weston: its a physical thing I think...can't turn our heads or something...dunno
Half Short: i can turn it when i see a cute guy...but not whilst reverse parking
Half Short: strange
Poppy Weston: opps...I did actually one have a car accident coz I was looking at a guy's arse
Half Short: hahahahahaha
Poppy Weston: cost me €400
Half Short: nice arse ... hope you told him
Half Short: your arse costed me 400 euro!
Poppy Weston: I didn't even get his telephone number..he didn't notice a damned thing
Half Short: damn
Half Short: men....
Poppy Weston: I know!
Half Short: cant live with or without them
Poppy Weston: course we can...just chose not to :)
Half Short: would have to put the trash out myself... not good for my nails
Half Short: no we cant...
Half Short: we need them
Half Short: but
Half Short: if they werent around... we would have less trash to put out anyways
Half Short: gods... you are right
Poppy Weston: you just answered my point, yes
Half Short: we can choose to do without them... *light switched on*
Poppy Weston: heeee! Welcome to the age of enlightenment!
Half Short: what else are men good for?
Poppy Weston: ummmm
Half Short: or can they be good for actually
Half Short: sex no... we have vibrators
Poppy Weston looks around the room and thinks
Half Short: or girlfriends if we really need it
Poppy Weston chews on her nails trying to think of one little example
Half Short: cook? naaaa
Half Short: mine cant cook
Poppy Weston: hmmmm[
Poppy Weston: this is hard
Half Short: clean? naaa.. he can but slacks off
Half Short: make money?... can do that myself
Half Short: cant think of anything
Half Short: do hard labour?
Poppy Weston: we could use the female priosners for that though
Half Short: oooh i know
Half Short: i know
Half Short: i know
Poppy Weston: what?
Poppy Weston: what?
Poppy Weston: what?
Half Short: to look at a nice body?
Half Short: eye food?
Poppy Weston: no...sorry
Poppy Weston: women are better looking than men...a lot neater looking too
Half Short: i have seen some nice specimens
Poppy Weston: hmmmm...yes...but that's not a "need"
Half Short: ok... strike this off the list then
Half Short: ooh i know it!!!!!
Half Short: to fix a flat tire
Poppy Weston: but I can phone the AA
Half Short: true....
Half Short: ok.. next is off the list then
Poppy Weston: I'm truly stuck
Half Short: make babys?
Poppy Weston: can't we just freeze all we need before killing them all?
Half Short: and after that we can clone
Poppy Weston: so what are they good for then?
Half Short: erm... if we kill them and bury them... we can use them as a fertilizer for the soil?
Poppy Weston: useful!
Half Short: damn
Half Short: yes!
Poppy Weston: see!
Poppy Weston: we have the answer!
Half Short: we thought of one thing
Half Short: they are best of use when they are dead
Poppy Weston: we've just helped save the world food crisis too
Poppy Weston: sad
Half Short: half less food
Poppy Weston: and they help us to grow more food for ourselves
Poppy Weston: Glad that I'm not a man
Half Short: so am i... very glad
Poppy Weston: Must be terrible to feel so useless
Half Short: yes
Half Short: would be rather depressing
Poppy Weston: poor things
Half Short: yes...maybe we should cuddle them to make them feel better
Poppy Weston: we should kill them soon...put them out of their misery
Poppy Weston: oh...whoops! lol
Half Short: yes after the cuddle
Half Short: ooh i know a second item
Poppy Weston: yes....cuddling corpses is a bit yucky
Half Short: they can give warmth, when still alive
Poppy Weston: that's're getting sentimental, stop it
Half Short: ooh sorry
Poppy Weston: I have woolly socks and a hot water bottle and tea if I get cold
Half Short pouts.. just better get used to the useless buggers i guess


Banjac Serevi said...

Misleading headline! I wish to complain...there I was all excited....expecting to read a tale of hot lesbian action...
What an anti-climax.
Make-up, driving ( if...) and necrophilia.
Stone me. Makes blokes talking about footie look almost interesting.
Come on, spice it up!!!

P.S. and what's this about "useless buggers..? True of course but no need to say out loud...ego shuffles off head hanging low.

P.P.S. Struggling to create a erotic fantasy based around woolly socks, hot water bottle and tea.
I guess there is rubber there, could be cold tea with ice cubes....but woolly socks are a turn-off - unless breast-shaped maybe (or would that be tea cosies?)????? No wait, you wake up in the office wearing nothing but woolly socks, holding a hot water bottle and drinking tea...that might work....



Anonymous said...

Which one of us should wear the tea cosies my dear Banj? *winks*

Your Half Short