Sunday, 30 March 2008

Internal Debate

Its hard.

I want to write what really goes through my head and the impressions that I gain. Get some structure into the ideas that I have. Put my feelings down somewhere. Get it all down...and out.

But that's the thing I guess which makes starting in that direction hard; I'll be outing myself.

Many people know pieces of me. The Boss sees more of the whole, but is the only one really. And now a few have the blog address and might run their eyes over it now and again. And total strangers might stumble across it when they look at my profile.

When someone forms an opinion of might be wrong or it might be in the general right direction but either way, its at a distance and I can shrug it all off very easily. But if they read me and then form an opinion, it might be closer.

Putting it down and "public", isn't that opening myself up for attack too? Am I that confident that I can write about things that really matter to me, knowing that someone will read it, someone who doesn't know me in my complexities. Someone who doesn't care about me necessarily.

Its a big step of trust. In myself, and in the stranger who reads this one day. Trust that they themselves are human and emotional. That they might see a little of themselves reflected somewhere.

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