Monday 26 May 2008

I couldn't have put it better myself...

“I feel a good submissive should be like an Italian Courtesan of the Middle Ages: loyal, obedient and subservient. And if you mistreat them they slit your throat before you have a chance to apologise."

Author unknown

Wednesday 21 May 2008

Boys...when you leave your women alone, this is the result...

...

Poppy Weston: blame it on the gender
Half Short: so actually ... its your fault too
Poppy Weston: always my fault, course
Half Short: so.... how will you make this wrong right again
Poppy Weston: blame me...I have broad shoulders...ummm....dunno...can't make up my mind...I'm a woman
Half Short: cant come over either cos you prolly lost your keys too
Poppy Weston: lol....can't drive even if I had my keys
Half Short: cant find directions
Poppy Weston: lord no...and then doing my lipstick in the rear view mirror
Poppy Weston: always causes problems
Half Short: dont forget your mascara...even worse to do in the rearview mirror
Poppy Weston: tut....silly! I did that whilst I was in the bathroom for 4 hrs
Half Short: ooh really... normally women redo it in the car... even after 4 hours
Half Short: just to touch it up again... just that lil bit
Poppy Weston: yes, but I would do that when I arrived to be honest
Half Short: poke an eye out whilst doing it
Poppy Weston: I prefer to file and paint my nails whilst actually driving
Half Short: only my toe nails
Half Short: whilst driving that is
Poppy Weston: and only after you've done waxing your bikini line
Poppy Weston: of course whilst driving
Poppy Weston: when else?
Half Short: yes...sure
Half Short: and the armpits and legs i do when i park the car
Poppy Weston: though not reverse parking
Half Short: no we cant we are female
Poppy Weston: its a physical thing I think...can't turn our heads or something...dunno
Half Short: i can turn it when i see a cute guy...but not whilst reverse parking
Half Short: strange
Poppy Weston: opps...I did actually one have a car accident coz I was looking at a guy's arse
Half Short: hahahahahaha
Poppy Weston: cost me €400
Half Short: nice arse ... hope you told him
Half Short: your arse costed me 400 euro!
Poppy Weston: I didn't even get his telephone number..he didn't notice a damned thing
Half Short: damn
Half Short: men....
Poppy Weston: I know!
Half Short: cant live with or without them
Poppy Weston: course we can...just chose not to :)
Half Short: would have to put the trash out myself... not good for my nails
Half Short: no we cant...
Half Short: we need them
Half Short: but
Half Short: if they werent around... we would have less trash to put out anyways
Half Short: gods... you are right
Poppy Weston: you just answered my point, yes
Half Short: we can choose to do without them... *light switched on*
Poppy Weston: heeee! Welcome to the age of enlightenment!
Half Short: what else are men good for?
Poppy Weston: ummmm
Half Short: or can they be good for actually
Half Short: sex no... we have vibrators
Poppy Weston looks around the room and thinks
Half Short: or girlfriends if we really need it
Poppy Weston chews on her nails trying to think of one little example
Half Short: cook? naaaa
Half Short: mine cant cook
Poppy Weston: hmmmm[
Poppy Weston: this is hard
Half Short: clean? naaa.. he can but slacks off
Half Short: make money?... can do that myself
Half Short: cant think of anything
Half Short: do hard labour?
Poppy Weston: we could use the female priosners for that though
Half Short: oooh i know
Half Short: i know
Half Short: i know
Poppy Weston: what?
Poppy Weston: what?
Poppy Weston: what?
Half Short: to look at a nice body?
Half Short: eye food?
Poppy Weston: no...sorry
Poppy Weston: women are better looking than men...a lot neater looking too
Half Short: i have seen some nice specimens
Poppy Weston: hmmmm...yes...but that's not a "need"
Half Short: ok... strike this off the list then
Half Short: ooh i know it!!!!!
Half Short: to fix a flat tire
Poppy Weston: but I can phone the AA
Half Short: true....
Half Short: ok.. next is off the list then
Poppy Weston: I'm truly stuck
Half Short: make babys?
Poppy Weston: can't we just freeze all we need before killing them all?
Half Short: and after that we can clone
Poppy Weston: so what are they good for then?
Half Short: erm... if we kill them and bury them... we can use them as a fertilizer for the soil?
Poppy Weston: useful!
Half Short: damn
Half Short: yes!
Poppy Weston: see!
Poppy Weston: we have the answer!
Half Short: we thought of one thing
Half Short: they are best of use when they are dead
Poppy Weston: we've just helped save the world food crisis too
Poppy Weston: yes....god..how sad
Half Short: half less food
Poppy Weston: and they help us to grow more food for ourselves
Poppy Weston: Glad that I'm not a man
Half Short: so am i... very glad
Poppy Weston: Must be terrible to feel so useless
Half Short: yes
Half Short: would be rather depressing
Poppy Weston: poor things
Half Short: yes...maybe we should cuddle them to make them feel better
Poppy Weston: we should kill them soon...put them out of their misery
Poppy Weston: oh...whoops! lol
Half Short: yes after the cuddle
Half Short: ooh i know a second item
Poppy Weston: yes....cuddling corpses is a bit yucky
Half Short: they can give warmth, when still alive
Poppy Weston: that's rubbish...you're getting sentimental, stop it
Half Short: ooh sorry
Poppy Weston: I have woolly socks and a hot water bottle and tea if I get cold
Half Short pouts.. just better get used to the useless buggers i guess

Sunday 18 May 2008

Feel the fear and do it anyway

Mistakes can happen. Which isn't to say that we don't go out of our way to avoid them - most of us anyway.

I'm no perfectionist, but I'm like most and hate myself when I make a mistake.

I look forward and desperately search for the right way, but sometimes you just can't tell if something is going to be a mistake until you've taken that step. And then of course, its too late to take your foot back.

The fear then makes me stumble around, hopping from one foot to another in the indecisive hope that something will make the problem go away. In the past its even possible that I just backtrack and disappear.

Sorry, I like the status quo and I hate change.

This has never stayed in my way of moving forward for very long, but those moments where I stand still and contemplate that step is an excruciating moment. I look at every potential fall, examine them minutely, think of so much that I end up almost paralysed. My head clouds over and I can't think so straight anymore and wish to god that the panic would go away. Which is normally why I bugger off out the particular situation.

This time...I ended up in a situation where I was so scared - of hurting others, of losing what I want very much. I tried so hard to take the burden onto my own shoulders and carry it and deal with it until some kind of other solution materialised. But I don't have a definitive answer and I was struggling so hard.

I may be many not-so-good things, god knows I ain't perfect. But deliberately deceitful or hurtful I am not. I will go so far to try and protect those that I love from pain. But it got to the stage where I couldn't cope any more on my own.

Honesty isn't always the best way in ALL situations - it can be very hurtful and we live our lives more comfortably on a cushion of soft white lies. But sometimes, honesty really is the best policy. You have to give others the full picture so that they can have that self-respect and are able to make decisions for themselves based on what's really going on. And sometimes it can be the scariest thing - those decisions may then affect you and turn in a direction that you don't want. Which is why most people then lie. We most often do it to protect our own interests.

I took the step of being open and honest and I am still worried a little about the consequences - I smell change in the air at a time when I am actually very happy. It makes my blood rush with excitement and it also makes me feel nervous and skittish.

But I will not worry about that for the moment. For the time being I am proud of myself for being brave and open. The respect and admiration that I have for some has only grown.

To be in a relationship, if *only* SL where the other demonstrates that they are truly interested in your happiness and that they care about you, even from miles away, is deeply touching and is a mind set that I strive for generally. I have yet to fully manage to put all my insecurities to one side to be able to offer that back at all times, but I'm also learning.

I have a wonderful teacher.

Outside of my normal, close circle of friends who are so sweet and supportive of me all the time, I have two people who are aware of what they can and can't offer me and who I hope will work hard to allow me time and space to work things out for myself, all the while quietly holding my hand and reassuring me and telling me that its ok.

It makes me feel very humble and grateful that I have you both in my life, in whatever context.

You are also helping me in more ways than you know - by being who you are, you're helping me to regain my sense of trust in myself...that I really can respect myself, be vulnerable and ask for help and that it will be forthcoming.

That I am someone who others think a lot of and care about may even be the start of me being able to truly believe and see that in myself.

Its about time really, don't you think?

Monday 12 May 2008

[RESOLVED] Asset server problems

HA!

As if????

This damned problem has been going for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and...

Sorry...the repetition of SL grid staus reports is obviously rubbing off on me.

It. Is. Getting. Boring. And. REPETITIVE!!!

The only joy I get out of the grid being down is reading the posts which residents leave (IF and when LL leave the comments open, which is rare) - they are too funny!

Pure and utter whinging, back biting amongst each other and then the absolute wankers (sorry, but it has to be said) who write the whole..."But sl is a wonderful platform and we should all be so grateful and happy that we're a part of it and of course things will go wrong now and again. And isn't it great that I can now use the time to go and stroke my pet goldfish and clean my basement and catch up on my knitting! And I...oh my...I just, like, so adore those Linden Lab chappies!! Mwah mwah to all you wonderful LL workers!"

Tossers.

I'm sorry, yes...SL is amazing when you actually stop to think about it and the pure possibilities that it offers, the technical "stuff" that has been achieved and what it could possibly be kick starting in terms of an internet revolution.

BUT!!! But, but, but, BUUUUUTTTTTT!

This same bloody problem - time and time again!! Let's be very fair here....we would all get our backsides fired if we fucked up as much as this! On the SAME thing constantly!

I quote from the new shiny grid status report blog thingie:

May 12th, 2008 - LindeX and Land Transactions failing
[Resolved] Number of asset servers offline
May 11th, 2008 - [RESOLVED] Asset server problems
[RESOLVED] Asset server problems
May 9th, 2008 - [RESOLVED] Asset storage cluster problems
May 5th, 2008 - [RESOLVED] Database Issues
May 3rd, 2008 - [RESOLVED] Database disruptions
May 2nd, 2008 - [CLEARED] Logins and other db-related services slow
[RESOLVED] Some Webservers Not Showing Current Transaction History
May 1st, 2008 - [RESOLVED] Second Life In-World Service Issues
[RESOLVED] Transaction History unavailable
April 29th, 2008- [RESOLVED]Problematic Logins (and forced logoffs)
[RESOLVED] - In-world search affected

If you go back and look through the blog for April, there are over 30 such entries...I couldn't be arsed to copy / paste them all.

Now look at them carefully...what do you notice?

Yes, yes...all database problems of some kind...that's obvious.

Look again and tell me what you see as a truly worrying re-occurring problem here.

Got it?

Come on! Its obvious...look!

Yes! I know! The Americans* seem to have a language problem...."resolved"? Did some muppet not look in the dictionary to find out what this means?!?!?!

"Bring to an end; settle conclusively". THAT'S what "resolved" bloody well means!

Maybe the databases keep fekking up coz some techie idiot can't read the English language instructions on the packaging?

Seems to me to be a likely explanation.

Common guys...write something else! I find that more irritating than SL being offline!

*takes a deep, calming breath and buggers off to Twinity, apologising profusely to any and all of the lovely and wonderful US peeps she knows who are clever and know what the word "resolved" actually means as she goes.

Damp Parts

No, not mine, but rather those of someone called Helen.

Ok...so my blog is turning out to just be a general ramble and not all that SL related it seems.

Oh well. Tough!

I read a lot. Normally, I speed read and I normally also have 4 books on the go at one point.

One that I've just finished reading...it is sooo worth recommending further.

To be honest, I'm not yet sure if its been translated into English, but when it is...please read it!

"Feuchtgebieter" by Charlotte Roche. In English, the title will most likely be "Damp Parts".

I'm not going to say a word about the content of the story, other than you will be shocked to hell and laugh your arse off. She talks about every single female bodily taboo that there is and blows them out of the water. Not always in the most tasteful way to be honest and there has been a bit of a backlash due to this. But...too refreshing to be shocked and to laugh so hard and loudly (always amusing in the underground...I love those funny looks that people give you). And to be touched also at the same time. As gross as this girl can be at times...she's so sympathetic.

Witnessing the extreme and the vulnerable...its the dark and secret parts of ourselves.

Personally I think that everyone is more shocked by this, than that the actual descriptions of the heroine's sexual and bodily habits.

Its just easier to be shocked about that, than admit that its the intimacy to another, even through a novel, which we find hard to deal with.

Where's Poppy???

Oh lordie...yes, yes...I'm a lazy bugger at the moment, I know!

Been a damned hard week and I've only just recovered enough to settle down and catch up with everything again - including the blog!

So...Prague is gorgeous, stunning architecture, miserable people - a hint of how I imagine the old east bloc was like. Stunningly intricate architecture hidden behind years of grime. People who seem to still be struggling to change their ways of thinking and behaving. Totally delicious beer and yummy food. And a damned lot of Germans there!! No wonder the Czechs are a miserable bunch! ;)

Berlin is in full summer mode. Like the rest of Europe - the weather just couldn't be better. Nearly 30 degrees at midday in the sun with a mild breeze..perfect. The leaves are finally out properly and the lilac bushes smell wonderful and the cherry blossoms look almost edible. People are out in the parks and sat at cafes on the pavement. I live in such a great part of Berlin - all this one block from where I live. People looking and acting more carefree than I've seen them for a while.

A national holiday today (like many other European countries too, other than the UK which is way too stingy with its Bank Holidays - always a good reason to move quite frankly) and so the feeling is even lighter. Carnival of Cultures yesterday - 1.3 million of us dancing and eating and drinking in the streets of south Berlin.

The European Cup (or EM as we call it here) starts so so so soon and we all can't wait! Football fever will be coming to Germany once more. It will never reach the magical, most amazing feeling that we had here for the WM (that was just a time outside of time, it was so amazing), but everyone is gearing up for it. Humiliating that the English didn't even qualify quite frankly. The stick that I had to put up with for that! But...I'm technically half German and so I can switch allegiance without feeling bad. ;P I supported both last time to be honest, but this time I can be behind Germany without feeling torn! And sorry...but the Italians did NOT deserve to win last time!

Two matches stick in my head from last time...Germany vs. Argentina...my lord that was exciting! The match was late afternoon and everyone was let out of work early to be able to watch. I went with friends and colleague to a big (and cool, coz it was soo hot during the WM) hall. The Palace of Tears - a hugely historical place which used to be the border crossing between east and west. 2 or 3 thousand of us watching the match there..and every goal was just edge-of the-seat excitement..and when we beat them....god almighty, the whole country erupted. When Germany was playing the whole country came to a total standstill. Cafes and bars had it playing and were packed. Whole streets of people sat watching, inside and out, no cars or people walking around. Whole streets and quarters erupting at every goal or near goal.

To see the Germans get that enthusiastic was very touching. Being so welcoming to the rest of the world, living in Berlin at the time. Seeing the stereotypes disappear, reading how even the British press had only good things to write. Being at the fan mile for every single England match and seeing the Brits behave and have a wonderful time. So many Germans there in England shirts cheering them on too. Was truly magical and wonderful.

I doubt very much that the EM will manage to hit that high point, but the flags are on sale and the weather will hopefully play along. And I shall be down the pub every game, going mad and yelling at the ref and hoping so hard, like everyone else, that the Germans get it together again and come through. The office has already started getting a "tip spiel" (betting) up and running and the friendly national ribbing has already started.

I NEVER watch footie other than with these big competitions and then I fall passionately into it. This feeling of so many people rooting for the same thing which doesn't involve politics or religion is refreshing and quite heart wrenching for a sensitive lil soul like me.

And the other match that I remember so clearly? When Germany fell out of the competition after losing to Italy...bleurgh! Sorry Boss, but it was a nasty game which the Italians did not deserve to win. And that horribly sad feeling that it was over...eurgh.

Of course...we then all switched our allegiance to the French (which is amazing in itself as no-one ever likes the French! ;P) and then they went and lost too! GAAARGH!

And so..only a few weeks left to go and then the fever will start again. I can't bloody wait!

Hmmm...might have to get some black, red and gold clothes for Poppy for the duration. And a German flag that she can have tattooed on her face. I wonder if you can get these silly inflatable hammers and click-clack things too? Poppy is gonna become a sl Germany football fan of the highest order I think!

Hehehehe.

Damned English! I would look so much better in just white and red, but you fekked it up - idiots!

Tuesday 6 May 2008

Out of touch...

..in Prague and I have virtually no access to email and certainly none to SL. And its killing me!

lol

No, to be fair...am dealing with the withdrawal symptoms quite well - Czech beer helps!

Miss you all...until soon.

*kisses

Sunday 4 May 2008

A post just for you.

I wanted to write about chance meetings, but that's a little twee I guess - any and all meetings, especially in SL are down to chance one way or another.

But sometimes you meet someone and you really do wonder if the Gods were smiling on you in that moment.

If you're reading this, then you know who you are.

Thank you - its amazing. Mind-boggling crazy when you think about it actually.

And with everything, time will tell, but here's to having a fucking fantastic time finding out.

Banjac Serevi

Not only have I been neglecting my blog, but it occurred to me that I had also neglected one of my very good friends!

The lovely rascal and loving bane of Half's life: Banj.

I remember meeting Banj at HoV...hehehe - poor lad was completely lost I think. Took the wrong turning or had the sl map up the wrong way around. Not quite sure.

Either way, its now one of those sweet friendships where you're so glad that you spoke to someone (read: took pity on them and deigned to speak to them).

He's possibly my biggest fan although I would say that that's more of a reflection on his boredom levels in his rl job than my writing or thoughts. But that to one side, he's a clever bugger and a sweetheart who only ever has something lovely to say or a joke to crack.

He leaves me and many others with a smile.

That makes him a great mate.

(although..to be fair, he could lay off it a little bit - I'm the one who has to put up with soppy IMs from Half as a result...bleh!)

;P

Kisses to you lovie

Customer Service

Dear Mr Serevi,

We would like to acknowledge receipt of your complaint, dated 2nd May 2008.

We here at Weston's Waffles take all and any of our customers' views and comments very seriously and are grateful for your feedback.

In response to your complaint stating that Ms Weston has been neglectful in her duty to amuse you whilst surfing the Internet at work we can only apologise profusely.

This is a terrible state of affairs and one which we shall do our utmost to repair at the earliest possible convenience.

We did attempt to contact Ms Weston to pass on your sorrows, but unfortunately she was unavailable to comment. Due to the popularity of her column she has a very busy schedule and the press interviews, jet-set life-style and demands for TV appearances have placed a large burden on her delicate shoulders.

We do know that she would feel that it is important that we pass on her apologies and reassure her readers that she is grateful of their continuing support and that she is fully aware that the millions of euros now residing in her bank account are only thanks to her faithful audience.

We would like to reassure you that Ms Weston is due to be back to her regular time-table towards the end of the week. Although she may need a day or two to recover from the strains of her charity work for the UN in Africa and her advisory role to the Pope and so we do ask for your patience.

Should you have any queries or comments then please do not hesitate to contact us at any time.

With kind regards,

The Customer Care Team
Weston's Waffles Ltd.